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Thursday, February 16, 2012

Hey Kevin: "I'm a dude and I like fruit beer"

Welcome back to Hey Kevin, our new advice and information column. Let's get started.

Hey Kevin. I’m a dude and I like fruit beer. Problem is, I feel like I have to hide my Lindeman's Framboise when my friends come over. Am I right to feel ashamed? Is there something wrong with me?

“Sid” in Allendale


Hey Sid,

My guess is you hide your fruit beers and love for them because you’re afraid your friends will laugh at you. Is that correct?

Fact is, beers like Dark Horse Raspberry Ale or Short’s Soft Parade are not only excellent, well-made beverages, they’re brewed by dudes no one would ever accuse of being “unmanly”. Have you ever seen the beards on the Dark Horse guys? Très magnifique!

What’s unmanly, Sid, is depriving yourself of something you enjoy for fear society will think you less a man. And what’s ironic is that in most camps this kind of wholesale conformity is considered pretty unmanly in itself. Now there’s a concept that'll blow your mind—drink the fruit beer and worry you’re not a man; deny yourself the fruit beer and remove all doubt of it.

What is it anyway that some people find so unmanly about fruit beers? Is it the fact they contain fruit? That’s just stupid. The US government's food pyramid also contains fruit and it's nobody's reason to feel ashamed. Would a real man’s beer be made from rusty nails and engine oil. Would it taste like repressed emotion and jockstraps? I don’t know about you, Sid, but I can think of nothing less appealing.

In the end my advice to you is to drink what you like, fruit beer or anything else. If your friends laugh at you, it’s because they’re a-holes and their fathers didn’t hug them enough. Also, that’s just what friends do, they bust each other’s chops. It’s when they stop laughing that you should worry.

One more thing, Sid. It’s a good bet most of your friends have experimented with fruit beer themselves. I know I have.

Hope this helps.

Kevin

Disclaimer: The views expressed here are Kevin's own. They do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the Buzz staff or its parent company, Siciliano's Market. Have a question in need of answering? Submit it to heykevin@sicilianosmkt.com.

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