Local Group Protests Beer Labels, Names

In this photo from Buzz archives
people wait in line for KBS, NOT to protest.

By Joseph P. Sprinklehead, roving Buzz reporter and resident satirist. In other words, the dude who makes stuff up.

Grand Rapids, Michigan - A spokesperson for The Association Dedicated to the Eradication of Naughty Words from Craft Beer Labels (ADENWCBL) has announced that members of the national organization will be holding a demonstration this Saturday outside a popular Grand Rapids brewery.

Maurice Potter, head of the West Michigan chapter of the ADENWCBL, said yesterday that members from chapters from all across the country will be gathering outside Founders Brewing's Grandville Avenue location to protest the brewery’s use of “highly objectionable words” on one of its bestselling beer labels.

“There’s absolutely no reason why they have to use dirty words to market their product,” Potter said in a phone interview, noting that companies such as Anheuser-Busch and MillerCoors have enjoyed great success with their portfolios of inoffensively named brands. “Look at Bud, Miller, Coors, Keystone and Natural Light. Those are all clean, wholesome names. I could go on and on.”

Potter said he understands why a brewery would want to use a unique name to draw attention to a product but believes there are plenty of non-offensive words in the English language with which to do this. “I get the whole marketing thing,” he said. “In fact I took a couple of courses at an online university.” He suggested that Founders could change Dirty Bastard to “Grubby Person Born of Unmarried Parents” and Raging Bitch, a beer produced by Maryland’s Flying Dog Brewery, could be changed to “Seething Female Canine” with no adverse effects.