New Beer Friday - July 8 Edition

To whomever invented picnic coolers, ice, beer, camp fires, and outlaw country music (Johnny Cash, etc) -- you sir or madam are a genius. To show our appreciation for all your hard work, past and present, The Buzz editorial staff dedicates the July 8, 2011 edition of New Beer Friday to you. Keep up the good work; it does not go unnoticed.

New (and Returning) Beers

• Short's Imperial Spruce Pilsner, $1.99/12oz - According to the Short's website, the "enormous" spruce presence in this beer gives it "a refreshing quality reminiscent of gin." In related news, uber-popular 90s band The Gin Blossoms are now referring to themselves as The Shorts Imperial Spruce Pilsner Blossoms, an obvious improvement over their original name. 
• Big Sky Moose Drool Brown & Scapegoat Pale, $1.69/12oz - Nothing extra-ordinary about these two fine beers, except the fact that they are now available in cans. Cans, ya'll. Cans.
• Abita Satsuma Harvest Wit, $1.69/12oz - Wikipedia defines the satsuma as a "seedless and easy-peeling citrus mutant." Just the other day we were complaining about the absence in the market place of citrus-mutant-beer hybrids. Thanks to Abita, problem solved.
• O'Fallon Brewing Co., $1.79/12oz, various and sundry offerings, including:
• 5 Day IPA - the 5 in "5 Day IPA" refers to either (1) the number of days the beer is dry hopped; or (2) the number of days you stay drunk from drinking just one bottle. Since this beer is only 6.1% abv, we think the former is more likely.
• Smoked Porter - Random facts: smoked German malt constitutes 63% of the total grain bill; in 2004, this beer won gold at the Great American Beer Festival; the king of hearts is the only king without a moustache; the plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets (hey, random facts are random facts).
• Hemp Hop Rye - Brewed with toasted hemp seeds, the only way to smoke this beer is to mix in equal parts O'Fallon Smoked Porter. Psychotropic effects as yet unknown.
• Wheach - Some people like fruit beers and some people don't. To wheach his own, that's the Siciliano's motto.

Quote of the Week

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, 'It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.'" ~Jack Handy